I visited my friend for a sleep over. He said, “Sorry, but tonight you’ll sleep on the floor”. And I said, “Damn gravity, you got me again. You know how long I have been dreaming of sleeping on the wall, or the ceiling.”

Before I went to sleep on the floor, I asked my friend, “How many rooms this house has?”. He said, “Many. This is the room where I watch TV. That is the room where I always take a piss. And that is the the room where I keep my stove and fridge. And over there is the room where I put my bed. And out there is the room with grass-floor complete with a fountain. And finally that is the room which belongs to my neighbor … Oh wait…” (by Mitch Hedberg, RIP)

There were two vampires called Vlad and Dracul flying around looking for prey. But that day was Christmas eve, so everyone were at home with their family. Tired of flying, Vlad gave up and went home. But Dracul was very persistent and continued in his searching. Near the dawn, Dracul went home with drips of blood in his lips.

Vlad was surprised and asked him, “Where do you got the prey? You must be fully sated.”.

Dracul then said, “Do you want to have what I had?”

Vlad nodded his head. “Follow me!”, said Dracul.

Both of them then flying and landed on the roof of a building. Dracul asked Vlad, “Do you see that pole in center of that field?”.

Vlad answered, “Yes. The one with the flag waving around right?”.

Dracul then slowly uttered,”I didn’t”.